Sometimes, you just never know when sharing so much might be too much. When thinking of how to even begin to retell the journey without rehashing the same “woe is me” story, the same questions continuously appeared…why share? what’s the point? why go back?
WHY. GO. BACK…it’s a way to shape the future, to learn from those mistakes/errors, and fully be in the moment. If anything, you can’t wonder the should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve scenarios.
When California came in the picture, everybody was going down their paths.
It was unclear where my role was at, what role would I play, and what I wanted to do. Frankly, I had settled in that little job with no real vision on what the next step was.
You really can’t grow in the safety of your comfort zone,can you? I dreamed of living in California with a career that would rival Ryan Seacrest but how would it all happen? I didn’t intern at a news station, I didn’t take the usual route…there was a lot I didn’t do. I really thought moving to California would lead to this whole life of being on TV, a new social circle and, I wouldn’t be this loser anymore.
I was so wrong. SO. WRONG. A bit delusional mixed with internal chaos. I really, really, really, really thought it was going to be one of those magical times where the pieces fall together but nope. As soon as I said yes to an old friend’s offer to move into the empty room in Sunny San Diego , the first sign of a bumpy ride appeared…but lessons learned below:
- The 1st bump came… when my roommate’s boyfriend called me saying I couldn’t move in. I blame it on the magical, delusional high for disregarding that sign plus my two weeks notice was in.
- I only told three amazing, special people about moving and, they supported my delusion. always, always, always…lean on your tribe. They’ll always be there!
- Growing up is a bitch. It really is and it’ll be the most uncomfortable, emotional, chaotic time of your life. You’ll learn a lot about yourself.
- Keeping a secret like this one took a lot of self restraint. It helped to not hear the noise that would come later before the actual move.
- Money comes but there’ll never be enough. I saved up but, I only had a little over a grand when I packed up.
- An old college friend doesn’t always mean a viable roommate…and that’s ok.
- You really learn the meaning of friendship after moving from your home city. Some will surprise you while others will disappoint you.
- Moving across the country will disrupt your entire routine and put you on a new path.
- Your survival instincts kick in when you know nothing of how to be an adult. Still surviving four years later.
- You can always plan everything out but it won’t end up going the way you want it to. Be adaptable.
Getting to California was the easiest part of this journey except for the fact that a 1999 Ford Explorer with a radiator leak was the vehicle to go on a cross country trip. No idea what was waiting for me on the West Coast except one friend, one room, no job, and the beginning of a weird, transitional chapter.
Til next time!
-A
Ax² 