Wine and Roses // Schitt’s Creek

Hello? Is anyone there? Hello [Ring. Ring. Ring]
Who knew telephones would prove to be a nuissance for the Rose family?
I guess that’s what happens when you’re use to smartphones and not a landline.

…The silver lining in this is that Johnny has received a phone call from a winery about a pitch. Meanwhile, David believes he’s having a heart attack and well, Alexis could give no effs about it so she’s off for a run.

Johnny and Moira arrive at the winery to taste the fruit wine and well, Herb Ertlinger, the fruit wine owner, is looking for Moira to do a few commercials for the fruit wine. This is going to be interesting especially with the fruit wine having an acquired taste.

David is still trying to figure out what is going with him and, Stevie ends up taking him to the veterinarian shop where he’s informed he’s having panic attacks.  At the motel, Moira and Johnny discuss the fruit wine commercial as some of “comeback but don’t call it a comeback.”

Alexis and Mutt get caught up in freak rainstorm…and well, do we see a little crush coming from Alexis? Who would’ve that the Upper Eastside socialite would be into an ordinary guy? Alexis and David discuss his panic attack and attending yoga as a coping mechanism.

Moira preps for her commercial and sends Johnny away as she is adding to her nerves.  Alexis and David arrive to yoga at Mutt’s place – wow, let the drama begin with the love triangle that’s starting to appear.  The commercial shoot kicks off and suddenly, Moira is speechless. Could the comeback be over before it even begins?

Yoga continues to be an awkward motion of events for all parties involved but not as bad as it with Moira going a bit haywire at the shoot. One too many glasses of fruit winehas caused Moira to lose it but Johnny comes through with a pep talk.

As David confesses the reason behind his panic attack, a sense of relief comes over him. Moira jumps back in the saddle and nails the commercial for the most part. Who knew lines would be so hard to remember and pronounce? Only Moira could elongate and create something out nothing for fruit wine.


“Honestly, David – I’ve tried to find my pulse a thousand times and nothing. So don’t worry about it.” – Alexis

“My heart has not rested in a long time, my immune system is very low, and I haven’t been able to find kale anywhere. I think I am having a heart attack.” – David

“David, you are like 34.” – Alexis
“I am basically 29.” – David

“Don’t be a little b.” – David

“No, this tastes like something one should not put in their mouth.” – Moira

“According to WebMD, I am having a pulmonary embolism.” – David

“Panic attacks aren’t real. Those are a PR spin for celebrity publicists. Trust me, I’ve known enough celebrities.” – David

“Naomi Campbell wore Dolce & Gabbana couture to her community service and just because she was picking up roadkill – did not mean that she needed to look like it. I really admire her courage.” – Alexis

“Ew! Why is it dark? It’s like a witch’s house in here.” – Alexis

“…but it’s my turn to take a selfish.” – David

“Herb Erflinger..Ger. Burt Herngeif. Irv Herb-blinger. Bing Livehaanger. Liveling.
Burt Herken. Bing Ling-fucker.” – Moira

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