Ewwww…This is 34.

It’s been a year. quite a weird one, am I right?
I remember thinking wow we’ll be back to somewhat normal by the summer but we just have to hunker down now. NO. BIG. DEAL.
…Fast forward, a year later.

Another goddamn birthday in this parallelogram. I miss seeing my friends during this time meant to celebrate another trip around the sun. So many trips to take, so many places to see but they’re on pause for a little bit longer. So many people to hug!

During this pandemic, it’s been interesting to watch it all play out and being a spectator. I’ve felt the burnout from being at home and working a few steps on the dining room table. There’s no separation and then add the dysfunction of family…it’s bound to create tension.

On top of everything happening outside of the world, we were hit with a medical issue with my mom. It was like whoa, the world is out of control and we’ve got to deal with this additional thing on the horizon.

…but I also knew it was the push I needed to get into therapy, I had to take care of myself which has been the ongoing lesson for quite some time. As I’ve gone through sessions, it’s been eye opening and pointed out how issues can manifest in some many areas of your life.

It’s been annoying just realizing a lot of these things stem from things that happened so long ago or from tendencies that you picked up from your parental units. It’s just a lot of nonsense to add on top of this whole entire parallelogram.

There were some silver linings throughout the last year – I became a Godfather again, kept in contact with friends via Facetimes/Zoom Calls, played virtual trivia (Team Rose Apothecary), and became a reader…again.

I am excited by the possibility of being able to see friends after we’re all vaccinated and just being able to have in-person conversations. I’ve missed that a lot especially after a long week at work. I just want to get back into a routine outside of home – as much as I’ve enjoyed being home, I miss being out and about.
There’s so many places to see within this city but I am ready to be out of this city.

I have a job that allows me to be remote so maybe, it’s time to explore other parts of the country and see what life awaits me outside of what I’ve called home for the last two years. There’s so many possibilities but I know my main focus is taking care of me and really getting myself in a healthy state of mind. I’ve ate my way through this pandemic but y’all, I miss my jeans. Also, I looked at photos from when i was 26…and ugh, i was in decent shape.

I am looking forward to all the times to come and being out with friends. I definitely will not take it for granted and, I will make the effort to go out more than what I did before.

As we wait to get our vaccines, have a dance party at home with my Studio 1987 playlist.
It’s heavily influenced by Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia and if you haven’t heard it, get into it.

Can’t wait for the day that I am drunk on a patio listening to music and wondering how we all got though this parallelogram.


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